Where should you put a tampon?

In your armpit, of course! Last night I returned home from school in the wee hours of 9:30pm. My roommate Steve (you too will come to know Steve, for he too will make many appearances at the Jammery... at least until May 2011) was asleep in his room. I shut myself in my room and went about my work quietly. And by "work," I mean I watched RuPaul's Drag Race with my headphones on. See, I am such a considerate roommate, but I digress. Shortly afterward, Steve knocks on my door. And to what do I owe this dubious pleasure? He proceeds to show me a wound he sustained from the university clinic... in his armpit, the most glamorous physiognomy of the human anatomy. I will spare you the literally juicy details and suffice to say the "doctor" at the clinic cut out a cyst that had grown in his armpit. The "doctor" then inserted what I can only describe as some sort of fibrous, absorbent material into his armpit to absorb any infectious "liquids." A string dangled from the outside of the wound allowing him to remove said fibrous, absorbent material the following day. Basically, he had a tampon hanging out of his armpit. Returning to my initial question of, "And to what do I owe this dubious pleasure?" Steve answers my mental question with another question.

"How do you take out a tampon?"

Ah, the things you learn in college. I leave you today with a poster that I made saluting feminine hygiene.

I know, the typography needs work.

JSP logos and watermarks

Here is a design that I made for an elite and powerful photography company called Jillian Schantz Photography. I'm hoping to make a business card as well and include all of these into my portfolio for Exit Review (May 6th, 2011 in the JCM Art building <end shameless promo>)

This one is the logo.

This one is the watermark.

I tried to make this design as clean and modern as possible, but I still wanted to add a bit of Jillian's personality in there. She is a young, hip lady with an old soul so I based the camera lens on a yin-yang concept. The stacked type on the side was totally my own random idea that I threw in there, and I was so happy that she liked it. I was really feeling the spirit of typography that night. I love stacking text. I really do. This is how I get my thrills.

My Blog's Maiden Voyage

Words have lost all meaning. I haven't used an online journal since my self-indulgent days of sharing my high school hopes, dreams, and general grievances on my beloved xanga (God rest 'em). I don't really know what to say, and that bothers me. Is it better for me to boast about every... oh damn, I almost forgot to renew my library book! The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. My dear friend and part-time wife Theresa recommended it to me last month (you will come to know Theresa, as she will make several appearances at the Jammery in future posts). I'm really glad I picked up this book because I never read it as a child, and I don't think I would have appreciated the witty banter and generous use of puns. What can I say, at twenty-three I have acquired a highly sophisticated taste for literature. I have an impressive library of books. All of them are classics. Many of them have been adapted to film. Many of them have never been opened! Hey man, time is money. My clients (well, Jillian anyway) aren't paying me to sit in my bathtub reading and annotating Pride and Prejudice. I'm going to watch it. Oh no, I'm not going to watch the BBC mini-series starring King Colin. I'm going to watch that shortened 2005 version. You know, the one they play on the E channel all the time. Yeah, that's the one! Watching gratuitously abridged, cinematic adaptations of literary masterpieces leaves me with ample time in my day to work on my designs. And I can catch the trickle of refined culture and eloquence from my high-brow taste in film... or is it literature? It's a win-win situation. This is how I manage my time. This is how I develop my stunning personality and winning charm. This is how I have become the Dos-Equis man.

To bring this thought full-circle, I now realize that I do indeed have much to say. I have very many thoughts about nothing and very much to say about anything pertaining to nothing, which is what you will come to expect whenever you visit the Chez Sheah Design Jammery: serving you delicious designs and hearty helpings of zero-calorie thoughts and half-baked ideas.